Only me and u

In 1955 a movie was released called The Seven Year Itch. It starred Marilyn Monroe and the plot was about marriages that were put to the test after seven years. The premise was that men become bored with their partners after seven years together and began to look elsewhere for sexual pleasure and fantasy. Is there really such a thing as the seven year itch? I believe that there is and that it is how you handle it that determines if your relationship or marriage can survive after this occurs.

In the movie Marilyn Monroe puts her panties in the refrigerator to help cool her off during a hot summer in New York City. What was the poor guy supposed to do, pretend that her telling him that she had done this did not arouse him? People are sexual creatures and it does no good to deny this fact.

Our culture tells us that we should have monogamous relationships. We are expected to find a person that we love and respect and stay with that person until the death of the partner. But that doesn't seem to be the way it works. When I look around I see couples that are in turmoil. Many of these relationships do not last long enough to get to the seven year mark. Other couples stay together well past the time that the relationship is working. They are unhappy and the children know that something is wrong.

What if we gave in to the idea of the seven year itch and used that as a way to strengthen a relationship? I'm not talking about unfaithfulness here, just recognizing that both men and women feel the need to explore other avenues at some point in their relationships.

No matter how old you are when you marry or enter into a committed relationship, you will continue to change and grow as a person after that time. As men and women grow and change they look for new experiences to validate who they are and what they are feeling. Women change tremendously after the birth of their children. They no longer feel like the girls they once were. Although they love their children more than anything, they may long for the attention they used to receive from men. They want to feel like sexual beings again and not just to be thought of as a mother. If a man shows interest or pays attention to them many women will enjoy the process of flirting and teasing.

Men also like the physical attention of a woman who is not their wife. If a woman compliments a man about his work, his ability or skill, or even his clothes, he may become both flattered and aroused. It is where this flirting goes that determines if it is a true seven year itch.

I know a man who had been married for five years and had dated his wife exclusively for the two years prior to their marriage (seven years total). A younger, attractive woman, unmarried and not in a committed relationship, came to work in his office and they were immediately drawn to one another. This attraction was both physical and emotional. The woman had been raised in the city where he had grown up and they had several interests in common. One evening they were both working late and the woman suggested that they go out for a quick bite to eat before returning to the office to complete the project they were working on together.

They never made it to the restaurant. They parked his car on a side street and spent almost two hours kissing and fondling one another. They shared long, deep kisses and held each other close. They did not have sex, but they had been more intimate than the man had been with his own wife in over a year. The woman felt sexy and wanted and the man felt strong and virile. They had no inhibitions about their bodies or their sexuality while they were together. This happened two more times before the woman took a more desirable job in another office. They never saw each other again.

Had the man been unfaithful to his wife? That depends on your interpretation. But the outcome was that the man grew closer to his wife. They began to discover each other again in both a physical and emotional way. It has been three years since this took place and they are together and happier than ever.